My way of being in this world has to change,we all through out our lives face obstacles,our methods for meeting them can get pretty entrenched.Time for change for this woman.

My son was born in 1988 ~he was as they say “severely delayed developmentally”, first I was told he never be more than “6 months” of age mentally ,then he was considered 2~which was a”good” assessment.By this point having been told he was blind,he was not, that he would never..well that list was endless.I began to just fold over myself and him partly to protect him and also so I could enjoy the baby stage~which, I figured correctly ,were going to be the best years for us.When faced with many years of baby it really does not behove you to pay much attention to linear time.On many an occasion that way of dealing with intrusions worked for me.Once they(the states overseers) asked if I would keep a food diary:translation we want to put a stint in his stomach.My boy loved food way too much for that,plus I’d seen enough stints to know no fun,just fast and easy. Each time anyone goes under for surgery it is a risk~with kids like him it is dangerous.So I folded over again building that cocoon shell nice and hard.I took the two hours each meal to feed him,they knew there was no way to make me do the stint or any just cause..so that way of dealing worked well for us.

But now he is gone.Time and events press in on me now in new ,different ways that demand different methods of facing them.Change~ the one thing we all know will be ours to deal with no matter what.Old habits die hard for me..but this is what the emerging butterfly must feel like,cautious,warming as the sun rays bring life to her wings,stretching them wide, the first few tentative flutters,the irresistible lure of the air drafts,the odor of nectar..here’s to being as graceful ,as natural as the butterfly.Here is to change.