Venusday Love (aka Sex-u-all Saturday)
July 7, 2007 by Thorne
The Politics of Gender
Male, female, het, gay, bi, transsexual.Butch, femme, transgender, FTM, MTF, cisgender.
It’s pretty confusing, even for those of us who consider ourselves to be othergendered! Me, I like “Queer”. I mean, I could break it down for ya, if you really need a label. Try this one on: I am a: Lesbian identified Stone-Femme Queer. Howz that?? My partner is a: Gay, Soft-Butch, Lesbian. She likes “Gay” while I prefer “Queer”. Still, for me Dyke, Gay, Lesbian, Lez, Lezzie, Homo, Rug Muncher; whatever… they all work. (I’m not so hot on “abomination”, though.)
Are these merely “gender identities” in a world where the cultural norms have previously been designated by a patriarchial political, religious understanding? Or is it possible that we’ve overlooked some folks in our understanding of gender as based on sexual organs?? Are there actually more than 2 genders?
As we expand the boundaries of our understanding of sexuality, desire, cultural taboos and freedom of self expression, we’re also expanding our understanding of gender. Well, maybe understanding is a bit strong. Traditional western religion would have us believe that gender is a purely dualistic/binary thing. Adam and Eve, procreation and all that. That anything outside of that is “wrong”. At worst an “abomination”, at best a mistake of nature.
At GenderdotOrgyou can find an excellent variety of gender related articles, statistical reports and more. Among the various tools there the (.pdf) Gender Variance Model and the (.pdf) Guide to Using the Gender Variance Model.
The model and guide above are teaching/lecture tools to be used to assist in gender education, so are pretty easily assimilated if one begins with an open mind and a bit of self awareness and life experience to go with it.
Readers might want to download at least the Model above, to help follow along. But the guide itself is a worthwhile read, and I’ll only be using snippets here. (It’s tiny. Only takes a couple of seconds even on dialup)
From the guide: Intro
Transgendered people are the most stigmatized and misunderstood of the larger sexual minorities (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender). Since gender follows physical sex for most people, transgenderism and even transsexualism are almost impossible to understand by those who are not transgendered themselves. While transgendered people are most familiar with gender variant expressions and cross-gender identities, there are many other forms of gender variance exhibited by all kinds of people – regardless of their social or gender identities. Revealing these other forms of gender variance shows how common it really is – and thus provides the all-important context for understanding transgendered people.
The basic concepts are as follows:
First, we must separate sex from gender:
Sex is the physical anatomy and biology that determines whether someone is male, female, or intersexed (formerly called hermaphroditic)
Gender is a psychosocial construct used to classify a person as male, female, both, or neither. Gender encompasses all of human behavior, including sexuality.
Those people who cannot or choose not to conform to societal gender norms associated with their physical sex are Gender Variant. It is very important to stress that many people choose to be gender variant in some form and do not consider themselves ‘born that way’.
Alot of folks would fall into non traditional gender variances without even realizing it. For instance the male nurse, the female construction worker, the long haired male, the agressive/outspoken female. These are all Gender Variances, albeit small ones. Today, most of us take these gender variences in stride. Not all that long ago women wearing pants would have fallen here. As the cultural norm changes, so does the level of gender variance.
Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe visibly Gender Variant people who have gender identities, gender expressions or gendered behaviors not traditionally associated with their birth sex.
Transgender is often mistakenly understood to mean Transsexual. Transsexual people, who have undergone or seek to undergo sex reassignment, comprise a minority within the transgender population. Most transgendered people do not wish to change their sexual anatomy.
Transgender can also mean anyone who transcends the conventional definitions of ‘man’ and ‘woman’, and who use a wide variety of terms to self-identify.
Transgendered people are usually categorized by their Gender Vector, which describes the direction of the gender change. The two gender vectors are Male-to-Female (MTF), or Female-to-Male (FTM).It’s important to clarify two common misconceptions about transgenderism :
Transgender is not a sexual orientation. However, it is a sexual identity that has become politicized, and so it is now commonly added to the list of other sexual minorities, which are sexual orientations – as in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender.
It’s important to note that this is where alot of folks, even those within the LBGTQ community, become confused. Why does a MTF Transperson then live as a lesbian? Many people will assert that if a man believes he was born to a be a woman then s/he “should” be attracted to men. The movie NORMAL, starring Jessica Lang and Tom Wilkinson addresses alot of trans issues in a believable and touching examination of love. Why does the Butch lesbian find herself more often attracted to “straight” women who seem not to fall into the category of gender variant? Women who appear particularly feminine, as our culture perceives/defines it? Could these examples lead us to the reasoning that there is more to the question of gender than “identity”? Could there possibly be more than two genders based on biology/sex?
There’s alot more info in the guide that I’m not going to cover, and alot of resources on the Internet for anyone who cares to further explore their understanding of gender and gender identity, but this is it for today from your favorite (dare I hope?) Queer blogger.A good place to start is Gender Watch at ZNet.
I extend a challenge to you my most excellent friends and readers. Just as an excercize in self awareness. Make a list of ways that you might be gender variant. Don’t panic, my lovely straight friends, your gender variances don’t make you “other gendered”. Just a way to look into the subject based on current societal norms, and perhaps the insight will assist in your understanding of other people. Have fun and open your minds and hearts!!
Now, regular readers of Thorne’s World know, I offer you a treat. Your reward, if you’ve made it this far, (although I’m sure some of you horndogs skip to the bottom just for these links!!). Venusday Erotica Links. Since this is my first official post at SirensChronicles, I’ll include a little disclaimer:
The author is not responsible for the reader’s reactions to the materials in the following links. The content included may be offensive to some readers and is not intended for minors. If the reader finds her/himself getting flushed, having a rapid heartbeat or other symptoms of excitement, it is the reader’s responsibilty to discern whether the symptoms are indicative of the necessity of a 911 call, or of a good time.
How was that for a “little” disclaimer?!
Both of today’s selections come from textfiles.com. Your first enticing romp is a trans fantasy that would make even the straightest het’s libido rise!! (Remember folks, spaghetti is straight; until you heat it up!!)
Fantasy Cruise part 1
Fantasy Cruise part 2
Our second story is a doozie, entitled To Worship You
It’s a sexy psychological romp from the mind of a het Bottom (Switch) Playing at top in a BD/SM scenario. Juicy!!!
I’ll be back next week with more Venusday fun, so until next time, remember everybody:
Make Love Not War!!!
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Well…you were able to clear up the transgender issue for me. I of course being “het” had the typical understanding…or not-so-understanding of it…and I feel you enlightened that for me nicely. I personally think there is a modicum of acceptance out there in the public compared to 20 years ago. There is better scientific knowledge at our disposal if we choose to try to find out more also. People are just people after all…the movies and documentaries go a long way to help people learn more about these things. I know I like to be aware what makes people tick…and if they aren’t trying to bother me…they can do whatever they want. Now the people that hassle me in the grocery store parking lots had better watch their backs! They are what is is wrong with this country! Just kidding…we know it is Bush and Cheney and their perverted ideas! Thanks for the info…
Knowledge is a good thing~thanks for the information,the links.One of my favorite sayings is “turn on the light bulb!” illumination in all things,lets you clean up the dust bunnies and allows you to see there is no “boggy man” in the back of the closet!
Thorne, this is a wonderful post that lays it all out so very well. Kudo’s to you!
I’m certainly with that last sentiment “make love not war”… This is a slogan we should all embrace as humans.
On the topic of names for those that are gay… I find it to be a subjective issue. Subjective in the sense, it depends on who the subjects are. My gay friends hearing me call them certain names is one thing, but some homo-phobic fool can use the same words and it sounds and feels quite different. The oddity is that you never hear my gay friends say something like, “stinking, going to hell, no good, godless, abominable heterosexuals!” Okay. Maybe noone on earth has ever said that exact phrase, but I think you get my point.
Fear is the mindkiller and I know several dead-minded people and hear these numb-headed bigots spout hatred out of both sides of their mouths. Toss in a few bible verses and you’ve got yourself a down home, foot stompin’, backward thinkin’, beer swillin’, shit-kickin’ “Ho Down”!
Indeed, poetryman. It’s all subjective. My partner, for instance, used to find “Dyke” distasteful. Probably because she’d only heard it used in a derogatory fashion. As for het’s, the only somewhat derogatory term that I can think of is the designation of “breeders”, and again isn’t it all in the tone and context. Alot of the, shall we say, “less than kind” designations for gays seem to fall around the topic of what hets think we do; what acts they imagine we perform sexually. I find this terribly interesting! For instance, “rug muncher”. There are alot of lesbians who don’t engage in oral sex. It’s just not their thing. Or to use a mild example of labeling that straights use for gay men, consider “ass bandits”. Again, the focus is on what it’s imagined to be performed sexually. These are the kinds of names that really indicate the level of ignorance we’re dealing with.
Personally, I have never heard (and can’t even think of possible instances, really) a het of either sex referred to by a sexual act. “Those damned missionary positioners!” Some how it doesn’t quite ring…
The only overt gay bashing incident my partner have ever suffered was while walking hand in hand across the parking lot of the grocery store. A jeep with a couple of 30-something guys in it drove by and yelled “fucking fags!” My partner, perhaps more accustomed to this sort of thing due to her butch appearance hollered out, “That’s “dykes”, you stupid fuck!”, and we laughed about it for days.
I find the topic of “labeling” interesting to no end. I don’t want to ramble on, so I’ll close with the thought of how we seem to try so hard to find terms by which to identify ourselves, our sexuality, our beliefs our personalities. Somehow believing, I think, that these labels will make it clearer to ourselves and others; that it will improve our understanding and communications- while in the end the labels seem to become prisons, or weapons in the hands of others. Interesting.