Cupid Let You Down, This Year? There’s Always Jesus
February 15th, 2008 | by Dizzy Dezzi | Published in Daily Featured | 6 Comments
Cupid Let You Down, This Year? There’s Always Jesus
So Cupid let you down, this year. There’s no one special in your life for you to spend your Valentine’s Day with. No one special to dress up for?
Never fear. Every good Christian woman knows that Jesus loves her. And, yes, Jesus wants you to look good for him.
So shake off those Valentine’s Day blues, slip into that Catholic school girl outfit, and don’t forget to put on your “Virtuous Vanilla” lip balm, Girl! Cupid ain’t got nothin’ on Jesus, so make sure you show him how much you love him.
Later on, when you are reading your bible (especially the Song of Solomon), you can “Get Tight With Jesus” by anointing yourself with one of the few body creams endorsed by Jesus, himself.
You’ll be the envy of your prayer circle, when everyone sees how much more righteous you are because you are “Lookin’ Good for Jesus”.
Hallelujah, Girl! Cupid ain’t got nothin’ on Jesus! You can take that to the bank…you know your pastor will, for sure!
(Originally posted at: Hypocrisy.com)
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February 15th, 2008at 9:27 am(#)
Dizzy you’re entirely right! Jesus is within you, look good for yourelf and be happy and content!
February 15th, 2008at 10:19 am(#)
Ah yeah..crass commercialism for Jesus..wotta concept!
Dimwitted bulbs..Lawd have Mercy on their souls!
February 15th, 2008at 10:39 am(#)
Maybe I’m undersexed, but “Virtuous Vanilla” and “Get Tight with Jesus” all sound so saucy, the only thing I can think about is how much fun I would have being “devilish”
February 15th, 2008at 2:21 pm(#)
Personally, I like Jesus wearing the Devil Made Me Do It red. It really brings out his best features.
February 16th, 2008at 5:12 am(#)
Check out Edicts of Nancy.blogspot.com for the ultimate sendup of Christian cosmetology and persecution. It’s hilarious.
February 16th, 2008at 10:51 am(#)
Oh hell yeah Sister Nancy is hawt! She’s in the blogroll already.
Poobie..it does..doesn’t it?