Life is what happens while you are making other plans…
February 28th, 2008 | by Fran | Published in Daily Featured | 6 Comments
Today was one of those days. An e mail announcement from my supervisor at work revealed she has been diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer. Will have a mastectomy on Friday, surgery to remove a breast, and lymph nodes. A year of chemo, hair loss, nausea. A 43 year old vibrant Mother of two, with no family history of cancer. Just brought tears to my eyes thinking about how her world has changed in one day. Just a routine annual exam.
I have heard medicos say that such experiences have a profound effect on our lives. We are forced to look at life in a different way. Suddenly, you have a deep inner clarity- you really understand, to the core about how short life can be. You instantly readjust priorities, and you see life in a whole different way. Things that were such a big deal, may now be viewed as time wasting, and not worthwhile. Shared time with loved ones, and keeping a positive attitude, cherishing things that were, perhaps just the day before, taken for granted.
I later heard news that Grandpa (my father-in-law), took a fall on ice & broke his shoulder.
My Mom is having a hard time as aging and life’s changes are becoming overwhelming to her at age 83. A fiercely independent Woman, who has lost her independence, and having to cross bridges she never imagined.
None of these people planned for these events. if they had their say, or could vote, they would have opposed them.
But life is change, and times & times wait for none of us.
I struggle to find the balance. I want to stay up on current events, but I also feel that current events, especially in the 21 century, can suck the lifeblood out of you.
Politicians, madmen, the downhill slippery slope this country is on, and so many other issues and problems. One wise friend dubbed it *fuck up fatigue*…. so many atrocities happening at such a breakneck speed, you can’t begin to keep up, and at some point, don’t want to.
I played with a few different topics to be an opening post, but in the end, decided to keep it real, with a slice of what is transpiring in my life & those around me.
We all need to take refuge, and recharge our batteries.
So what is your refuge of choice? How do you find the balance?
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February 28th, 2008at 8:17 am(#)
i guess i write controversial posts
recharge? i walk away from the blog for awhile- and retreat to my artsy blogs. i fill those full of nature and art and music. i shut off the computer and fill up my 5 cd changer with bob dylan or john lennon or george winston and self impose news blackouts. you have to give your mind time to process all of the corruption and dysfunction- or you shut down completely. i am delving into the tenets of buddhism- peace inspired- to make peace with myself. i tend to be a bit high strung and a touch of a perfectionist- so this is a journey i have to make so i don’t stroke out 
welcome fran!!
February 28th, 2008at 11:35 am(#)
I immerse myself in baseball. Sports in general, but baseball is my other passion.
My season commences tomorrow. I am so damn glad I will get a break from the constant 24/7 news cycle about Obama, Hillary and Weathervane McCain.
February 28th, 2008at 4:38 pm(#)
I do the blackouts of news sometimes too.
I stopped by the supervisors desk to wish her well on tomorrow’s surgery– I asked her how long she’d be in the hospital– Total mastectomy & lymph node removal– came to find out they are doing what is called a *drive by mastectomy*, outpatient surgery! I bit my tongue & shut up, because I did not want to upset her– but I understood there are laws and protections in place to have at least 2 or 3 days hospitalization post mastectomy. Plus they probably start the chemo right away, which is known to wipe people out. I asked, can she stay in the hospital if she wants to? She said she is OK with the outpatient scenario, because she hates hospitals & would rather not be exposed to other sources of infection.
I consider a Stage III Cancer mastectomy to be a pretty major surgery, and can’t believe the bean counters have it set up as a revolving door outpatient surgery! Ugh!
Anyway– thanks for the welcome.
I hope to be more entertaining or edgy in future posts.
February 28th, 2008at 4:49 pm(#)
Fran, don’t apologize for your posts. It was a worthwhile endeavor and if it helped you to write it, then that is even better. Hey, it make me think and that is all I want when I read something someone has written.
I can not fucking believe they are doing that to your boss..Jesus Christ on a crutch, that is total bullshit.
February 28th, 2008at 6:40 pm(#)
I can relate so well to this. My wife was diagnosed with stage II/III breast cancer just 3 years ago. Our worlds changed in an instant. At one point, she said she would not undergo chemotherapy. That frightened me beyond comprehension. She changed her mind; I’m so thankful for that. She’s been cancer-free for three years. But while she was undergoing chemo, her life was horrible. I wept for her and wished I could reach into my mind to find religious solace, but it’s just not there. I wished I could “take the bullet” for her, but I couldn’t. It’s so damn hard to deal with. It’ just so damn hard.
March 1st, 2008at 12:53 am(#)
John~ Sounds like you have been through the full gambit with this disease. The supervisor said she’d be back at work a bunch in between chemo, but the general consensus is she is probably going to need more time off than she thinks. They did do the drive-by style surgery- a radical mastectomy (total removal of a breast & lymph nodes), a few hours post op recovery & out the door.
Not even an overnight for observation! Sorry, that just seems so wrong to me. I am glad to hear of your wife’s cancer free status- for 3 years– that has to be the best news in the world to you both. You sound like a very supportive compassionate partner. May the cancer free trend continue.