‘when in the course of human events…’

if there is one thing i have gotten out of the last 8 years or so of well- whatever this has been- it is a healthy appreciation for the written word. ha! that isn’t what you expected me to say i am a reader. i love words- and i love well written words. when it comes to the written word- no one has anything over the founding fathers. ‘we, the people, in order to form a more perfect union…’;

‘when in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.’

and here we are full circle. we dissolved the union between us and the mother country in order to form a more perfect version- and here we are now- dissolving into a nation separated from itself and the rest of the world. the only one i have heard speaking of uniting anything- barack obama. everywhere in this nation- we are walling people out physically through actual walls; through laws; through cliques and discrimination. it doesn’t matter who they are- if they aren’t exactly like us- we want them separate. and yet, we say we love america. we love our country. all of the shredding of our precious constitution and declaration of independence- has been done in the name of ‘insuring domestic tranquility and providing for the common defense.’ i guess it isn’t as important to ’secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.’

dusterella and i email back and forth occasionally (someone has to keep this blog functional- and it’s her and we have some good asides. this last exchange i told her why it was i was scaling back on blogging and giving a shit about what happens here. i tend to be longwinded- so i will paraphrase

i am not advocating hopelessness or helplessness- i am refocusing my energies because this battle has already been lost. our constitution is done- you can’t have the tinkering with laws that we have seen through the corrupted 3 branches and expect it to come through unscathed- it is gone. we have the illusion of democracy and no more. people don’t want to hear that. they don’t like bad news and most in this country are avoiders. we, the people, don’t like confrontation- as a whole. we would rather have someone else do it so we can zombie walk through our days in what passes as happiness in this culture. i had a conversation about that with another friend- a former colleague i worked with on the hospital psych unit- and what i said to her was- most folks who take prozac, for example, don’t need to and that’s why it won’t work for them. they aren’t really organically depressed and it’s easier to take a pill than do the work to rewire your thinking. so, because they are uninteresting and lead cookie cutter, mcmansion lives- they have to pollute my drinking water. and no- it isn’t a non sequitur.

anyhoo- i was talking to dusty about the metamorphosis i have gone through over the last 8 years. and now i am in mourning. the 5 stages of grief- i have gone through them all writing on my little blog- and here. most folks are still on number one but there are plenty of angry folks out there too. i mourn the loss of my ideals; my idea of america and what it meant to be an american. it isn’t there. i retain my american citizenship but i don’t consider myself an american any longer. my america differs sharply with the reality of what america is and has become- and the two will never reconcile. because in my america- we don’t torture; we take care of the poor and needy; we don’t discriminate based on race, creed, color, gender, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation because ‘all men are created equal.’ in my america, we are not an empire invading and occupying other sovereign nations or bullying the weak into bending to our will- because we are a democratic republic. in my america, we have representative government who serves the will of the people openly and honestly. we don’t fear terrorism because it is a small price to pay to be an open and free society. we don’t fear because we are americans. we are the pioneers and the get-things-done crowd- the leading edge of new ideas and technology. we are the leaders- and we lead by example.

the real america is somewhat lacking.

so- i could keep on writing and keep on taking one on the chin by the folks stuck at number one. but i prefer the old america and i am one of those self sufficient types who isn’t afraid of going it alone. we are entering a new frontier now- one where we are going to have to find a way to survive the demise of our planet. and there are plenty of folks who will continue along in the same old wagon rut. there always are. but- right or wrong- i was taught of the pioneer spirit of my ancestors- and i know that manifest destiny cost indigenous folks their lives- so i am going to blaze my trail into the unknown and hope for the best. i can’t do that typing the same words over and over because in the end, they are just words. living life is different than talking about living life. and i intend to live whatever life i have left on my beautiful broken planet in my beautiful, broken country. namaste.