‘the criminals are on the run’

“In an earlier era the Sergeant of Arms would arrest Rove and jail him in the basement of the Capitol building. But in our post-modern media age I suggest a more suitable course of action: Congress should hire “Dog the Bounty Hunter,” (Duane Lee Chapman), to hunt down Rove on national television. It would be a ratings winner (especially among the coveted 18-to 29-year olds), the advertisers would be overjoyed, and the American people could finally see Rove’s Pillsbury Doughboy ass cowering in the bathroom behind a shower curtain when “Dog” and his buxom wife, Beth “The Huntress,” flush him out, rough him up, and slap handcuffs on him. “Dog,” who is a devout Christian, would have the chance to show his patriotism, rescue his country, and arrest the highest-profile fugitive of his career. The nation would have “closure” as well as a much-needed distraction from the war and the depression.

You Can Run, Karl, But You Can’t Hide.”

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