Miss Piggy Speaks Out About Pigs And Lipstick

I was pretty offended this week when I heard that Democratic presidential candidate, Barack Obama, had the nerve to say “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig!” It’s obvious, Obama never met my good friend (we go waaaay back), Miss Piggy.  As soon as I heard about what he said, I contacted the Pigalicious Diva and asked for her comment on the matter:

“I certainly hope that Mr. Senator Obama was not referring to ‘MOI’!  I am THE most fabulous pig who ever wore lipstick and I am no mere piggy, mister!

“And, don’t get me started on that pitbull, Mrs. Governor Sarah Palin!  I don’t care how much lipstick she wears, she will never look as fabulous as I do!  Even Kermie thinks so (or, at least, he’d better).

“Personally, if I weren’t so piggish, I could totally go for being a pitbull.  I dated one once and he wasn’t afraid to get to the meat of any matter and certainly wasn’t afraid of a good fight, even if it meant getting his fur ruffled.  This pitbull, Palin seems to me to be more like Fozzie Bear–fuzzy, but lacking substance (No offense, Bear!).  She kind of reminds me of my darling, Kermit.  He used to whine all the time about how it wasn’t “easy being green”.  I told him to get over himself.  It was his own fault he voted for Nader.

“As I was saying, if we are going to talk about looks, McCain could totally sit in the box seats with those old farts, those guys are so full of hot air they could have kept the Muppet Show afloat all by themselves.  I hear, nowadays, a lot of countries are trying to turn poops into energy, so maybe there’s a job for all those old guys (yes, even that POW guy).

“Scooter says that maybe I should consider going to a third-party if I’m so offended by what Obama said.  But, I told him that unless I am the center of attention, I am not doing any more parties! Hmph!

“In closing, it’s obvious that this Sarah lady was taking offense over something that was never aimed at her.  I have heard that Obama is in a war against pork.  As far as I can see, ‘MOI’ is the only fabulous and famous porker who wears lipstick, so obviously, Obama was poking fun at me.  Personally, I am getting a little sick of the haters trying to gain political points in my name (Yes, I’m talking to you POW-man)!  Stop hatin’ on THIS Piggy or else I’ll have Gonzo turn you into a chicken!”

(originally posted at: The Sirens Chronicles)

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