mmm… today is tuesday

and i almost forgot my post dusterella would have killed me. is it bad that i forget what day it is all of the time? seriously…. is it?

there’s a fresh blanket of snow on the ground here in upstate new york- and there isn’t much traffic so there’s that calm quiet that pervades after a storm. except we didn’t have a storm i couldn’t tell you much that has been going on in the world at large these days- i have checked out. but i have been fighting an inner battle with myself. isn’t it funny that life can be good and yet we still have inner conflict.

is that the very core of humanity? conflict?

i am actually fighting to keep my head above water as i attempt to process life as it unfolds- aging; parental ill health; job market; global climate change and the chaos it well may bring, etc.,- and i keep reminding myself that change happens. conflict and change- two things that humans have at their core. i don’t particularly like either and with the january gray it’s tough to keep positive. hence, my news blackout.

i think it’s important to write about where we are in addition to what we are for and against. but, i suppose for that to have meaning, we have to know who we are and what we’re for and against to begin with. therein lies the rub….. i don’t harbor illusions about humanity as a whole- human nature doesn’t lend itself to overall positive outcomes. individuals continue to surprise me with the third “c” of humans– courage in the face of adversity.

in spite of myself, i still have that lingering feeling of hope

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