Fractured Christmas Carols-The 12 Days of Warfare

From those wacky but wonderfully spot-on folks over at the Coalition for a Democratic America another fine snark-filled tune..

THE 12 DAYS OF WARFARE
Based on The 12 Days of Christmas”
New version by BibleBelted, PraetorOne, Donatra and SweetPea

*On the 1st day of warfare my leader sent to me
A promise to keep the people free
*On the 2nd day of warfare my leader sent to me
2 phony words
And a promise to keep the people free
*On the 3rd day of warfare my leader sent to me
3 half truths
2 phony words
And a promise to keep the people free
*On the 4th day of warfare my leader sent to me
Blood, shock, and awe
3 half truths
2 phony words
And a promise to keep the people free
*On the 5th day of warfare my leader sent to me
NO LIB-ER-TY!
Blood shock and awe
3 half truths
2 phony words
And a promise to keep the people free

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Dark Wraith’s fractured Christmas Carol

Dark Wraith,author and publisher of Dark Wraith Forums, UnCapitalist Journal and the Big Brass Blog performs his very own Fractured Christmas carole:

 

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More Fractured Christmas Carols…

Yes, another couple of ditty’s from the folks at Coalition For a Democratic America-Dusty

OH COME ALL YE STUDENTS
Based on “Oh Come Little Children”
by PraetorOne
Oh Come all you students, oh come one and all
To see a recruiter in high school halls.
There slickly they lie for the Bush war machine
So eager, so ready, so dishonestly
They say it is nothing, just think of the pay
The hell of the desert is too far away
Just sign on these papers, we know who you are
We simply won’t tell you that you’re off too war
Now praise our dear Jesus, the young soldier sings
As death and destruction, the Bush regime brings
The shrub in the office, sees death and gets high
While wounded young soldiers ask why must we die?

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Lewis Black on Homeland Security

I remember the air raid drills in school and those god-forsaken movies..Lewis gets it right on all counts.

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I love this man!

Actually, I don’t know The Worried Shrimp..but I love the hell out of his artwork. I believe he paid us a visitation this morning on one of Jolly Roger’s posts! I would like to encourage anyone that loves good political art to visit his site and page through his magnificent works.. Its worth your time my dear reader. Now, a couple of my favorites:

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Betty Bowers for President..

After all, she knows what’s important folks! From her Platform:

Let’s make sure nobody in America can buy a loaf of bread, gas up a car or acquire a driver’s license without proclaiming that “Jesus is Lord!” first.

We propose continuing the current Republican policy of slapping the American economy on a Bank of China VISA card! What’s in your wallet, America? Because Jesus knows it isn’t cash!

On Freedom and Rights: Or should we say: Free? Dumb! Everyone goes around saying that freedom isn’t free. So why the dickens aren’t we CHARGING for it? Let’s privatize human rights so they are – finally – worth something! Within hours of taking office, we will slap some dollar signs on the few, annoying freedoms that are left – and put the BILL in Bill of Rights!

 

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How the Shrub screwed Christmas: NOT

HOW THE SHRUB SCREWED CHRISTMAS: NOT
Based on HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
by DOCTOR SEUSS ( AKA Theodor Geisel)
Parody Version by BibleBelted, PraetorOne, Matthew5, and DoctorWho

Every Blue
Up in Blue-ville
Loved Christmas a lot
But the Shrub
Who lived South of Blue-ville
Did NOT
The Shrub hated Christmas; and this was a reason
He hated the joy and the whole peaceful season.
It could be perhaps he loved pain and the fright
Or maybe his brain wasn’t working quite right
But I believe that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his conscience was no conscience at all.

But whatever the reason
The soul or his brain
He cursed through December, raising all kinds of Cain
Glaring up from DC with a mean Bushy smirk
He proved to the people that the Shrub was a jerk
Yes he knew every Blue up in Blue-ville above
Was now happily showing the peace and the love

“And they’ve taken my Congress,” he complained in a snit
“They’re praying for peace, they are so full of shit.”
Then he clawed with Bush talons, crazily drumming
“Stop democracy now, keep the freedom from coming.”

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Santa Claus is an Undercover IRS Agent

Another good post from BlackLynx-Dusty

We now have fully variable proof from a disgruntled worker of the psychopath many children know as Santa Claus, is indeed and undercover IRS Agent. The name of this disruntled Elf in question, shall be withheld and his identity protected as he informs us Santa’s Elves could be anywhere at any time!

We attempted repeatedly to upload a video of the interview on the well-known YouTube, but it has been repeatedly taken down by staff. So here’s a transcript:

Brendan: Ok *censored*, what led you to believe Santa was working for the IRS?
AnonymousElf: I began to notice during the January of 2004 that Santa was exporting a large quantity of U$D in freight trucks. He assured us that it was to purchase next year’s supply. But we still pay in gold sovereigns, and he puts in the order in late-May at earliest. That’s all I wish to disclose at this time, turn of the camera.
Brendan: Ok… Thanks for your help.

As you can see from Brendan’s interview with AnonymousElf, Santa is really an IRS Agent working undercover for the IRS. He uses the cloak of Christmas to invade the homes of families, root through their tax forms and look for inconsistencies. He also retrieves money from the homes and leaves coal under the tree because it probably helps him with his conscience of starving a family out of their home on Christmas. Santa was hired 26 years ago to stem the rising numbers of tax protestors who claim that they do not owe the IRS income tax. He is the most effect weapon at combating perfectly legal tax evasion.

We’d like to thank AnonymousElf for bringing out this story.

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